Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Randomize
