Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
