Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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