He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
