Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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