I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
