my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
