No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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