What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
