Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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