Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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