Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
