Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
