we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
