love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
