I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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