Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Is Oprah even human
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
