nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
