Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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