I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
