No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize