fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
