Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
