drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
