Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
