I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
