This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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