So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
