I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
