That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
