I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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