what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
