I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
