Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
