Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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