I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
