just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Mom said you looked used
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
BRING THE BAGELS
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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