After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
