You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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