i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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