Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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