meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
