Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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