Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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