oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
