do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
