I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
