Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
