this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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