you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
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He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
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I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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