Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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