Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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