Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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