For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
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bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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