Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize