I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize