sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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