haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
