I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
