Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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