I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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