I'm lost and stupid without you.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize