I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I got chris browned last night
he thought i was a dude.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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