Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Someone signed my nipple.
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