i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
