what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
